The only one thing that you asked for was for the trash to be taken out. But, unfortunately, it never got done. When you ask why it didn’t get done, your partner says “I never heard you ask me”. Why are you not surprised that your partner didn’t hear the one thing they needed done? This “selective hearing” is a normal indication that communication is failing.
This “selective hearing” is frequently viewed as a kind of character defect. Accusing somebody of selective hearing is saying they weren’t listening to you. But selective hearing could actually be connected to untreated hearing loss instead of a short attention span.
Selective hearing – what is it?
You’ve probably had at least one or more situations in your life where someone has accused you of not listening, even if no one specifically used the phrase “selective hearing”. When you miss all the stuff you don’t want to hear but hear everything else, that’s selective hearing. You hear the part about making a delicious meal but miss the part about cleaning up the dishes. That kind of thing.
It’s really common for people to have selective hearing behavior. However, most studies point to males failing to hear their partners more often than women.
It might be tempting to make some assumptions about that (and the way that individuals are socialized certainly does play a part in how this behavior is contextualized). But hearing health is likely another major component. If your “selective hearing” starts to become more common, it might be an indication that you may have undiagnosed hearing loss.
Communication can be impacted by hearing loss
Undiagnosed hearing loss can certainly make communication a great deal more difficult. You’re likely not shocked by that.
But here’s the thing: oftentimes, communication issues are a sign of hearing loss.
When hearing loss is in those very early phases, there won’t be very many obvious symptoms. Your tv might get a bit louder. You can’t quite hear what your friend is saying when you go out for a drink at your local tavern. It’s probably because the music is so loud, right? But besides scenarios like that, you might never even observe how loud daily sounds can be. Your hearing can slowly deteriorate because of this. You hardly notice the problem until you’re at the point where you frequently have difficulty hearing conversations.
Your partner is becoming concerned about the health of your hearing
You will notice some of the people close to you are starting to worry. Yes, selective hearing is a rather common irritation (even more aggravating when you already feel like no one listens to you). But that aggravation often becomes worry when they acknowledge that hearing loss might be the actual culprit.
And your partner may want you to find out what’s going on by having you schedule a hearing test.
Your partner’s concern is significant and it’s important for you to acknowledge that. Have an open conversation and consider that they are coming from a place of caring and not just annoyance.
Early hearing loss has a few other indicators
You should watch out for some of the other early warning signs of hearing loss if your selective hearing seems to be getting worse. Here are some of those signs:
- Speech sounds distant or muffled
- Having a difficult time distinguishing consonants
- Cranking the volume up on your mobile phone, television, or radio
- Difficulty hearing in crowds
- Having to ask people to speak up or slow down
If you experience any of these symptoms, you should call us for a hearing test.
Use ear protection
Safeguarding your hearing is so essential to preventing hearing loss. Limit your exposure to loud settings (or at least wear earmuffs or earplugs when you have to be around noise). Any feathers that you might have ruffled with your selective hearing can be smoothed over by using hearing aids to communicate more successfully.
A diminishing attention span will be responsible for the majority of selective hearing situations in your life. But you might want to take it as an indication that it’s time to get a hearing test when people around you begin to notice your selective hearing getting worse.